Sunday, December 27, 2009

Self-defense, your Honor.

Or traveling tips for the visually impaired, or “My doesn’t your hair look shiny”.
Ah; France, the getaway for young lovers in the spring, well we’re not young and it’s not spring. But you can look your best and that’s a start, or is it? To look your best; start with a shower and then wash and condition your hair, eh…viola! Ze man around town is ready to go around ze town ,nes pah? Just put on the muffler (scarf) and take the ladies hand and away you go.
“My your hair looks shiny,” she says adoringly.
“Why thank you it’s the conditioner” I am replying.
“What conditioner is that ?, we don’t have any.” she queries.
“ Why the conditioner next to the shampoo, in the shower room. (which also shares space with the toilet and sink.)
“You are meaning the body wash and moisturizer?, mon cheri”
At this point I look off to where a camera should have been filming this deadpan expression, or the famous look after the roadrunner has yet again outsmarted the coyote and before gravity has taken its effect and I plummet 200 feet down towards the craggy cliff bottom.
Pause for effect………………..
“Why would someone ( I did not include the “in their right fucking mind”) leave moisturizer on the shower shelf, in the shower room?”
“You thought it was conditioner?
“Lets see, blind as a blind bat with out my conditioner/moisturizer label reading glasses on, shampoo and conditioner look the same as body wash and moisturizing lotion, and thirdly shampoo and conditioner usually reside next to each other in the shower shelf in a shower”. I’m feeling like Clinton not knowing the definition for “ is or was“, but for shower and lotion shelf.
Join us next week intrepid listeners, when the question is,
“Is it my imagination or does that toothpaste taste funny?”


  1. Hank, I continue to enjoy your musings about the day's happenings. You have such a wonderful knack for observing the obvious and then putting your thoughts to paper. I thought for just a moment to compare your Christmas meal to ours but found the mental comparison to be laughable.....We did have a relaxing meal of rare Turkey all seated in plain view of the 5pm Charger game...Love your

  2. Hank, you are really good. I loved the conditioner tale, I think I've done the same thing before! You had me laughing out loud. Keep em coming! Love Susan