HOPE

Hope
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
-Emily Dickinson
We returned with our family intact, Caleigh decidedly thinner; and frail, but ok. The whole experience taught us all different lessons, Caleigh knows that she has to maintain basic nourishment for her body to sustain health, Cindy now has been empowered to ensure the little one eats all the food she lovingly prepares, and that the side dishes of vegetables aren’t optional choices but mandatory staples. And I learned that even though I eat everything on my plate, it is my duty to ensure little one follows suit.
It was a humbling experience dashing through the tiny French villages, following the ambulance, numb with fear and painfully being aware how insulated my feelings were. My only thoughts were getting there safely and praying Caleigh was going to be alright. It amazed me how appropriate the words to Emily Dickinson’s “Hope” kept coming into my mind, to be comforted for a couple days, as hope gave me little respites of comfort. Once there, while they were running all these tests, it was frightening to think of what the problem was as they were going from one extreme to the other with their myriad of tests. The imagery of the little match girl kept reappearing in my mind as I thought of Caleigh, all by herself through some of the tests. In retrospect the problem was her body had deleted any available resources in order to continue functioning, the flu, stress from school, her worried state about relationships in her life, and her lack of any appetite combined for the perfect nutritional storm. She will have to have another couple tests to finalize their complete analysis. I do apologize for the alarm that I sent throughout the family and friends by not summarizing in my last posting that Caleigh was alright, I had two days of nonstop fear and was a bit heavy handed. Merry Christmas; Love the ones your with.